First Communiqué From President Abroad

BREAKING NEWS! Dateline San Salvador…

Eric_Mission_Accomplished
Actual unaltered photo sent by the president, showing him naked. (without a Rotary emblem visible)

In response to the most recent web exposé, Prez Eric transmitted a photo from his yet undisclosed location, touting that the “Mission Accomplished” banner was hanging above his head.

Our sources at a number of three letter agencies, (NSA, CIA, FBI) told us to pound sand, as they had more important things to do.  So, we are forced to do the thing we like to do best — make up stuff!

After sneaking out of the country in the wee hours of the night, boarding a flight, non-stop we may add, we have learned that Prez Eric stepped on to the tarmac of the airport in El Salvador.

Perhaps Eric was behind the last "Mission Accomplished" banner?
Perhaps Eric was behind the last “Mission Accomplished” banner?

This reporter could not verify what his real intentions are — so once again, we are forced to make stuff up.  In his “manifesto” transmitted electronically, the ruler of the Club only sent two words: “Mission Accomplished.” The manifesto was only sent to two of his most trusted political advisers, “Jumpin’ Jeff” Kasper“Innocent Edi” Birsan.  The message was in

Eric seen partying with the British band One Direction?
Is that Eric  partying with the British boy band One Direction?

response to a news release that Birsan was preparing to send in another organizations newsletter on behalf of the club.

In the photo, “Jet Set Eric” as he’s known to his closest associates must be under-cover on an assignment, as he is NOT wearing his Rotary pin.

There are those who may be skeptical of Eric‘s secrete plans while he is out of the country.  Some people may even say he’s on a VACATION????  When was the last time he took a vacation???  Besides, just because he happened to be traveling with his daughter, to a country where he has a bunch or relatives — who he hasn’t seen in 15 or so years. (Do the math, Hope wasn’t even born yet!!!) Doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s relaxing.

What it may have looked like if Eric met with Obama to discuss his El Salvador connections.
Eric and President Obama would look like this if they met to discuss his El Salvador connections.

This reporter would rather use wild speculation as to what the real meaning of his trip could be.  Perhaps a secret diplomatic mission — after all, Edward Snowden did seek asylum in El Salvador (we think) and he could be paving the way to smooth out US/El Salvadorian relations in the event that they decide to let Snowden move in.

Or, you could be like the rest of the world, keeping your mind closed, and think that Eric  is just on a well deserved vacation.